Funny story time......

[jspbtown]

These are two funny (clean) real stories that were recently in my town's local paper in the police logs section.

Story 1. A concerned resident called asking for help with what they thought was a rabid raccoon wandering the street. When police arrived they spotted the racoon who appeared drunk in the road. The Officer shot the racoon with his firearm.

Moral of the story.... racoons in my town should stay away from the local VFW and the cheap PBRs.

Story 2. A 57 year old resident drove to the police station to inquire why his license was suspended. The desk officer explained that the police don't suspend licenses but rather that is handled by the RMV. He was directed to inquire with the RMV. The party then left the station, got in his car and drove off. He was subsequently arrested for driving without a license.

Honest to God...true stories....except for the "PBR" reference. That was NOT in the log

Have a great day!

[67rustavenger]

Ok here's two from one of our local Police departments.
. Police were called to a report of a possible slumper in an idling vehicle in the middle of a shopping center parking lot. Officers contacted the driver who was fine, but had just been ushered into a snooze by a presumably boring podcast.

. A caller reported their noisy neighbors were causing a ruckus well into late night hours. A quick investigation revealed the source of the noise was a number of paramedics and EMTs responding to a medical emergency.

.
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[NJ John]

This is from the late 80’s.
My buddy worked at a BMW dealer and a lady had her car towed because someone stole her battery. They told her the battery is in the trunk. She said who put it there?
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11.41 et buggy. Long gone
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[YDBD]

[Shonandb]

[NJ John]

The long version of my story, is the lady was at the mall. The car was dead and when the opened the hood. There was no battery. Lol
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1973 standard, yellow, lowered, 3” narrowed front, 1600 blo-thru turbo w/single dell 15.4@86, so far
11.41 et buggy. Long gone
Let’s go O’s! Let’s go O’s!
https://www.youtube.com/@AirSpooledGarage

[NJ John]

Here’s another dealership one.
A woman picks up her keys after service was performed. She then drives back to the service door and the car is scratched from front to back. She said, someone left my car in gear when they parked it. The service manager was like, “and?”. It was a manual trans and Nissan didn’t have neutral safety switches back then. The car was parked facing a chain link fence. She started it in gear and proceeded to drive completely under the fence.
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1973 standard, yellow, lowered, 3” narrowed front, 1600 blo-thru turbo w/single dell 15.4@86, so far
11.41 et buggy. Long gone
Let’s go O’s! Let’s go O’s!
https://www.youtube.com/@AirSpooledGarage

[oprn]

This is a story from back in the '60's told to me by by a Ford dealership service writer. This one may escape the modern car owner not familiar with carbs.

A lady bought a new Ford Falcon and brought it back because of rough running and high fuel consumption. The car was gone through and other than fouled spark plugs no fault was found. The problem and the lady persisted and insisted several more times. Finally the service writer himself took it for a drive and found the car ran perfectly.

When she came in to get the car, on a hunch he said "Take me for a drive." When they got in the car, she pulled out the choke knob and hung her purse on it....
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[OB Bus]

[EverettB]

I had someone do that on a '63 Mercedes I sold during the test drive.

I told them to push in the choke after a while and they never did.

They thought it was running really poorly by the end of the test drive.
It was. Sounded great once I pushed it back in.
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[Cusser]

Mrs. Cusser called me to report that the submarine light was lit up on her Yukon dashboard.

She has a Master's Degree.....
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1970 VW (owned since 1972) and 1971 VW Convertible (owned since 1976), second owner of each. The '71 now has the 1835 engine, swapped from the '70. Second owner of each. 1988 Mazda B2200 truck, 1998 Frontier, 2014 Yukon, 2004 Frontier King Cab. All manual transmission except for the Yukon. http://www.thesamba.com/vw/forum/album_page.php?pic_id=335294 http://www.thesamba.com/vw/forum/album_page.php?pic_id=335297

[Shonandb]

My father purposely swapped from a V8 to a V6 and installed a manual choke on our 73 Suburban back in the mid 80s so he didn't have to wait for it to warm up in the morning. He'd pull the choke and start it and immediately start driving and would slowly push the choke in as he got on the road and driving.

My mother would always have difficulty either getting it started or having it stall out when she used it as she'd forget about the choke. Eventually, she refused to drive it and bought a used, 1981 fully loaded Suburban with a 454 so whatever gas costs my dad was saving with his V6 swap, my mother spent double with the thirsty 454.
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[Abscate]

[oprn]

[Emily's Owner]

[oprn]

The joke back then was that they wasted time and money putting speedometers in those vehicles. You could just watch the gas gauge.

My '78 Ford 150 had only one tank. I would drive to town and fill it up but by the time I got home it was down to a 1/2 a tank... ok not quite but it definitely would rival a modern E car for lack of range!
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Our cars get old, we get old but driving an old VW never gets old!

[Abscate]

[Shonandb]

[nsracing]

[jinx758]

Ok, I got 2 ...

Way back when I was a junior in high school we had "open" campus where students were allowed off campus for lunch. We walked to a local Mickee_Dees, getting in line behind a guy in mechanic or technician uniform with his 5or6 year old daughter by his side. A rather large woman was at the counter placing her order. The woman's beeper started to go off. The guy's little girl tugged on his pants leg & said, "watch out daddy, that woman is backing up."
Being young & immature we snickered. We got some context when the man & girl got in his service truck which started beeping very loudly as he was reversing.

Almost every Friday &/or Saturday nite we'd cruise the local strip in Corpus Christi, known as Everhart. The turn around points were a park on Ocean Drive up to the Sonic, waiting to go around thru the property making a loop. It was always packed.
I had borrowed my mom's bronze '76 El Dorado with biscuit interior. My GF & 4 friends were in it. Two of the guys kept flirting with 4 girls in a maroon Trans Am. We finally got them to stop & hang out for a while. Three of my guy friends exchanged numbers with them.
The following week we found out one guy was given the number to a KFC. Poor guy got razzed for a long time as he was always bragging about his ability to get girls' numbers.

Those were the days ... stay safe

jinx
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